CPR – Cry, Proceed, React: a new social order when someone dies

The development of Social Media has really gone side-by-side with my life just like my cat who yesterday passed from old age and a failing heart. As with her, that which we may call social media entered my life one day and placed me in a nurturing position ever since (not that it hasn’t given me some joy in return). I couldn’t not care about it. Social media interacted with me, as I did with my cat, and that was OK. I’d miss it if I went without it for too long; kept checking on it, still do. You could that say it grew on me! And because it was relatively new like me cat was once too, who knew, it might have left me—just like the cat-door was always open for my cat to disappear on me at any time. And as with the never-ending updates in the world of social, as well as with the stock market going up and down as I’ll mention a bit further down… one adjusts their expectations along the way, right!?

Luckily, she didn’t go until she went and died. And I feel kind of as though she is the first “project” I ever truly completed; because I took her in from the street, tried to find out where she’d come from, then registered her as belonging to my family, cared for her, and most importantly; I never, ever, quit her. Her kidneys getting worse two years ago didn’t stop me from believing that she could get better – and she did! When finally her heart started giving up on her the other week (and she must have got to an age equivalent of some 100 human years), I thought; “She is the captain of that ship… I’ll just let her take command of its anchor now; I think she’s had a good tour.”—something like that.

Two months ago, Instagram began letting its users share up to ten photos or videos in one post, instead of just the one (Instagram Blog, 2017). I didn’t feel like sharing memories of my cat on there now in March. Neither to straight-up give a chance for the general public to comment on it, nor to exploit her last testimony of existence into some test of a new function to that app. Had she gone a little over two years back, when she got the kidney problems, there still would have been only room for square-shaped memories, as well; create your own collage inside that, or nothing (Instagram Blog, 2015). However, in the end I decided to put a collage up on my Facebook wall. I first put it together in a photo-editing app (note: there is still a choice of being offline and ‘anonymous’—as I perceive it—in the experimentation with this) on my phone (I have a feeling we’ll do everything for an audience soon). And soon after I got incoming teary-eyed emoji reactions from people I know from around the world. One of my class-mates—with whom I was studying for a poster-presentation at the time—was sitting next to me as some of these reactions reached me, as I said to her; “You know, had my cat died a few years back, the only reactions I would’ve got might have been likes. This really is more suitable.”

Today, my other friend in class asked me in person if my cat had died after having seen my Facebook post from yesterday. She smiled. “Um, why are you smiling?”, I said, “…yeah, she did.”, I went on. So my friend in class replied that she cares for others when their pets die; feels empathic. And it struck me that having seen all those emojis on the day before made me nearly forget what real human response may look like, although at first I had thought that those emoji-reactions were closer to reality than ever (I suppose that goes for cyber-space in 2017).

Friday, 31 March 2017:

“Digital immigrants”. A description of adults who don’t fully get the online slang and smileys. Great (Lindqvist & Thorslund, 2011, p. 35). 

bureau_creative 

Leading up to yesterday, mom had actually tried calling me to let me know that the cat was taken ill. I didn’t hear it because I was showering, or something. She emailed me the whole story about what was happening, CC’d my brothers. Then finally sent a picture of my cat on WhatsApp, and that’s when I noticed, texted her back and said; “Everything OK with her?”, “Actually, no. I emailed you…”, mom replied back. 

It was late, I opened my email by switching apps really quick. I chose to voice-message my boyfriend and attempt to hold back my tears there, instead of calling my mom back at this point. I knew that calling her would just lead to an extended sob. I had a “career day” to attend the next morning. If I could avoid puffy-eyes, I would. Mom and I then sent each other heart-emojis and our conversation came similar to what one would utter at a funeral for a good friend (these days when words still are able to co-exist with visual reactions in shape of emojis). And before I went to sleep I asked her to text me the next day, after it would be all over for my cat. I still haven’t talked to mom over the phone about this. The cat-funeral was supposedly late yesterday. Yet I know more than I ever knew from when my first cat passed, before I had ever owned smartphones, computers, or some robot dog; or whatever the kids get these days. My boyfriend sent me a couple reassuring voice-messages back from the New York subway on his way to an event. “Everything is going to be OK; you’re family is going to be OK, you are going to be OK…”, he kindly assured me, and to my relief I could go to sleep pretty efficiently despite all.

What we have these days is also “networked grieving”; in which funeral services now intersect with social media, and can help people express their grief online as well as plan it (Nansen et al., 2017).

Come to think of it, mom had said that she’d actually read online that the symptoms my cat had had signaled heart-failure, and I’d believed her. So had the veterinarian that later checked my cat before her passing (hopefully she used some techy-tool more than, like, Apple’s own Health app). But mom and I both put a lot of trust into Google. Perhaps more so me, because I’ve “known it” longer!? I’ve seen doctors Google symptoms when I was in a New York hospital with the flu once, so why shouldn’t the stuff on there be at least somewhat relevant!? My boyfriend also said he was going to a viewing the other week. I thought since he was searching to find a new apartment that he was going to an apartment viewing. I recorded him a chipper voice-message the next day; “Hey, hope your viewing went awesome, let me know!” He replied that he couldn’t go in the end but that he’d forwarded his condolences. Only then did I turn to Google and realize my mistake… this was a death-related viewing that we were talking about.

Friday, 31 March 2017:

“Lindqvist & Thorslund (2011, p. 18) discuss turning into the person you make out to be online as a risk, but what about making it a career?”

bureau_creative

I can’t promise you that the person who is writing this will be the same person in two years from now when I graduate from university, but do I even want to be? I like this inquisitive mind of mine, and I’m going to keep feeding it with social media, as social is going to be fed by me and what some people might call my “content” (a.k.a. my life?) right here and now, and continuously so.

Acting taught me to take things really personally on stage, and simultaneously be more thick-skinned for the business-side of the job and industry. I suppose that’s also how I see the internet. Maybe just that I’m splitting my personality over different channels, like one should invest in Index funds and things, according to Tom Robbin’s new book “Unshakeable” (Robbins, 2017), and not be investing all into one single bet for the future. Simultaneously, as with the stock market, I’m investing my personality, my time, or my money (as in studying for this line of profession or related), with the knowledge that what I perceive as being private or anonymous might be the complete opposite; and that there will be a “bear market”. Meaning, things will go south at some point – but I just choose to prepare for those times and come out alive, instead of hiding from it all and actually losing with a perception perhaps of being “safe” and steady when that’s not really the case. Robbins mentions in his book that being outside of the market is your biggest loss. Being out of the social media game creates the same loss in my opinion, we just may not have the same expert advice on it yet to say that it is indeed a game that needs to be played, and someone to pin-point the advantages for each and every individual.

That’s when a film director yells; “Take a risk, do something—anything—but make a strong choice and stand by it!” And that is at least what I intend to do continuing forward with social media—basically; say hello to my “new kitty”!

Ruth Sundell

References

Instagram Blog. (2017). Share Up to 10 Photos and Videos in One Post. [Online] Available: http://blog.instagram.com/post/157572774352/170222-multiple [2017-04-03].

Instagram Blog. (2015). Thinking Outside the Square: Support for Landscape and Portrait Formats on Instagram. [Online] Available: http://blog.instagram.com/post/127722429412/150827-portrait-and-landscape [2017-04-03].

Lindqvist, J. & Thorslund, E. (2011). Ungas integritet på nätet. 5th ed. [Online] Ödeshög: DanagårdsLiTHO, pp. 1-90. Available: https://www.iis.se/docs/Ungas_integritet_Ver2_webb.pdf [2017-04-04].

Nansen, B., Kohn, T., Arnold, M., van Ryn, L. and Gibbs, M. (2017). Social Media in the Funeral Industry: On the Digitization of Grief. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 61(1), pp.73-89.

Robbins, T. (2017). Unshakeable. 1st ed. London: Simon & Schuster UK Ltd.

Balance your lunges

Hi everyone, I wasn’t sure whether I’m going to continue blogging here or start a kind of vlog on youtube. But for now, I was thinking I’ll continue blogging, because it’s pretty dark outside and it’s much better to then type than shoot something with bad lighting.

Can’t really give up yet, with 44 faithful followers, can I? What’s that – that’s like two baseball teams almost!!! BTW I heard baseball season started.

Today I was doing a 1 hour workout at home, because I have a goal planner on my fridge where I can fill out a line for every 1 hour session completed of some kind of workout – so I wanted to check that off.

Pick of the day was to do a bit of side-lunges with weights and such for shaping my glutes for summer. As I was stacking on a little bit of different weights onto my dumbbells I made sure I fitted in a bit of couch work too. No… not, like, relaxing on the couch;) But rather lying on my stomach with my legs out over the edge and doing kind of “frog lifts” with the soles of my feet touching and all, if you know what I mean!?

I also laid down as if I was relaxing on the couch and then did some triceps, and then stood up on all fours on the couch and worked on triceps with the weights to the side… anyway, so I haven’t been piling on the weights for these kinds of moves as I’ve gone back to listening to Tracy Anderson – going for a more lean & light dance body.

However I did add on some weight for the leg work and tried a kind of deadlift with my dumbbells in each hand (I still want a bubble-butt like, and you need some weight for that to progress well in my opinion), and toes up on a double-folded blanket. Saw somebody do that on Instagram in a gym but with a plank under his toes. Try it… it’s crazy! What for, I’m not hundred on. Felt effective on the backside of my thighs, maybe?

So, then I tried lunges to the sides…

– and honestly I feel so awkward every time I do that! I feel sort of out of balance and it just doesn’t sit right with me. Yeah, and then I had a protein shake and relaxed… binge-watching Season 3 of the old prison show on HBO called “Oz”, until I found this super relevant Feldenkrais lesson (below). It grounded me and taught me better balance already. Much recommend it! Also, I’m so for giggling away during a practice at little random jokes, ha, you know Yoga with Adrianne on youtube?  – That kind of thing:)

At last – Now I can check off all; ‘SPA-time’ (which I had after breakfast, with some mud mask and foot massage), ‘Feldenkrais lesson’, ‘1-hour workout’, and ‘weekly blog’ on my goal sheet, hooray! Plus I had time to write for uni. Fantastic feeling.

Yay, so tomorrow I plan to check off the one I call “meal plan/make something nice” by making tacos!;) See, I don’t set my goals very high all the time;) Makes for more of a motivation to me. I usually drink lots of protein smoothies, so… not like that’s bad but it’s good to practice those culinary skills, too, I reckon:) Oh BTW any ‘fit recipes’ you got, please share ’em! I got American pancakes down pretty good. Thinking of doing some kind of egg whites in muffin forms with bits of healthy stuff in… broccoli perhaps… in the oven — for quick snacks during the day, ya know?! Actually, some skinless chicken would be neat in there too perhaps. My Italian dietitian in the past suggested some sardines on crackers… not the yummiest maybe;)

Bebe

Pilates progress – February

⭐️⭐️⭐️Current form.⭐️⭐️⭐️ Post 1 hour Pilates.

Hey so I figure I may as well post my progress on here to keep better track and motivate myself to keep improving, what do you think!?

Maybe I can inspire someone else in the making. We all need workout buddies! Currently my workout buddy is a flat-coated retriever but I only walk her every now and then so in between that I find other ways to motivate myself. Sometimes it’s even a show on HBO that’s very action-filled or so, that I just think: “Ah, I want to be an actor in action movies.” Or sometimes I use “Man, I was in the army last year around this time, where I could do all this training and 10 x more of it, without sleep so get on with it!” – I’m really glad I’m studying at university right now though, because here in Sweden at least I can ride my bike to university even in winter it seems (or spring as it would be now), and yet sleep in on most days as I want… and also eat really well as I’m able to be near to my apartment and also go home for lunch even in “shorter” 1 hour lunch-breaks… on the occasional longer day.

Sometimes I simply think of any scene with the Absolutely Fabulous girlies… “DARRRRRLING…” Don’t want to end up fat n’ alone, do we… I’m in a happy relationship. But one should never get lazy. Simple as that.

5×1 hour workouts this month and a few smaller ones in between…

In the 1 hour ones includes Pilates at home in front of YouTube training videos (max level-sometimes I add a bit of weight) outdoor biking (up/downhill), weight-training at home… just a few pounds for that lean figure, taking the steps to my apartment and kind of doing side lunges while I’m at it… also walking and running with a puppy, etc! 🙂 creative, nothing too sweaty! But with heartbeat and heavier breath at some point. I find that it has improved my posture and also energy in studying. I remember dance classes in New York, Manhattan, as well as Pilates classes on Saturdays in Brooklyn that I used to take. I love it.

Will keep this up and those abs will be more clear for summer I am sure, and *bubble butt* back on point ☺️

That’s it people, no gym, lots of protein shakes with unsweetened soy and either banana/strawberry and maybe a little bit of peanut butter as lunch or dinner (or both) and then whatever food basically but very little sugar… (quite a lot of fat… yoghurt coated cashew nuts and yoghurt coated pineapple bits are my favorites).

 

Shortcut to my Instagram 

-Bebe

Movement and motivation

Hey everyone,

Hope you are well! I wanted to check in with you and share some news. I finished my book about learning and digital yesterday, it’s called 11:11. I will try to publish it here on the blog for you all to see very soon! But first off, let me say I’ve had this beautiful time of learning today.

I started off with some yoga at home, and then I went onto doing some pushups, working my back muscles with some weights, etc. and started listening to a complete Feldenkrais lesson on YouTube at the same time! Feldenkrais was a physicist! I really liked the introductory  talk about him. Very motivational. Much worth it! 🙂

I just realized something massive when I followed this whole video and did the lesson! If the brain only wants to adjust to where it sees “possibility” in terms of movement as I both heard from the teacher and was able to feel for myself here, then maybe the thoughts work similarly? And perhaps that’s why the Law of Attraction (The Secret) and similar methods (The Silva Method) work; because you truly imagine possibility! And also while show jumping, you’re supposed to look at the next obstacle already while you’re flying over one… maybe that’s just a way to put our attention on the next thing so that our body moves with us and the horse can feel it and so it, too, turns easier as a result… rather than that we can “think ahead”. Wow. Because in horsemanship you practice a lot of small movements as well – working with the movement of the horse instead of against it or trying to be the one who decides over it.

I’m going to work on my script now. Shooting next week. But I felt I should share this experience. I was sitting down and looking over to my left shoulder… well, barely! I was barely looking past my left shoulder to begin. Whereas the end of this lesson I was able to look past the point of right behind me. The brain is magnificent! Really.

Also I tried this TheraPearl eye mask, putting it on for 20 minutes before I got to sleep. And so I’ll listen to The Silva Method (the long relaxation exercise) while I keep the mask on… kind of drift off to sleep for a bit, wake up by an alarm I’ve set for 20 min., take the mask off and just put it by my side on a table without leaving bed… and then drift fully into sleep! Next morning I have almost no dark circles under my eyes, not much puffiness… and I feel lovely!:) Tomorrow I’m getting a haircut and I’m going to have a wonderful weekend myself, I wish the same for you… and may all your wishes come true!

-Bebe