CPR – Cry, Proceed, React: a new social order when someone dies

The development of Social Media has really gone side-by-side with my life just like my cat who yesterday passed from old age and a failing heart. As with her, that which we may call social media entered my life one day and placed me in a nurturing position ever since (not that it hasn’t given me some joy in return). I couldn’t not care about it. Social media interacted with me, as I did with my cat, and that was OK. I’d miss it if I went without it for too long; kept checking on it, still do. You could that say it grew on me! And because it was relatively new like me cat was once too, who knew, it might have left me—just like the cat-door was always open for my cat to disappear on me at any time. And as with the never-ending updates in the world of social, as well as with the stock market going up and down as I’ll mention a bit further down… one adjusts their expectations along the way, right!?

Luckily, she didn’t go until she went and died. And I feel kind of as though she is the first “project” I ever truly completed; because I took her in from the street, tried to find out where she’d come from, then registered her as belonging to my family, cared for her, and most importantly; I never, ever, quit her. Her kidneys getting worse two years ago didn’t stop me from believing that she could get better – and she did! When finally her heart started giving up on her the other week (and she must have got to an age equivalent of some 100 human years), I thought; “She is the captain of that ship… I’ll just let her take command of its anchor now; I think she’s had a good tour.”—something like that.

Two months ago, Instagram began letting its users share up to ten photos or videos in one post, instead of just the one (Instagram Blog, 2017). I didn’t feel like sharing memories of my cat on there now in March. Neither to straight-up give a chance for the general public to comment on it, nor to exploit her last testimony of existence into some test of a new function to that app. Had she gone a little over two years back, when she got the kidney problems, there still would have been only room for square-shaped memories, as well; create your own collage inside that, or nothing (Instagram Blog, 2015). However, in the end I decided to put a collage up on my Facebook wall. I first put it together in a photo-editing app (note: there is still a choice of being offline and ‘anonymous’—as I perceive it—in the experimentation with this) on my phone (I have a feeling we’ll do everything for an audience soon). And soon after I got incoming teary-eyed emoji reactions from people I know from around the world. One of my class-mates—with whom I was studying for a poster-presentation at the time—was sitting next to me as some of these reactions reached me, as I said to her; “You know, had my cat died a few years back, the only reactions I would’ve got might have been likes. This really is more suitable.”

Today, my other friend in class asked me in person if my cat had died after having seen my Facebook post from yesterday. She smiled. “Um, why are you smiling?”, I said, “…yeah, she did.”, I went on. So my friend in class replied that she cares for others when their pets die; feels empathic. And it struck me that having seen all those emojis on the day before made me nearly forget what real human response may look like, although at first I had thought that those emoji-reactions were closer to reality than ever (I suppose that goes for cyber-space in 2017).

Friday, 31 March 2017:

“Digital immigrants”. A description of adults who don’t fully get the online slang and smileys. Great (Lindqvist & Thorslund, 2011, p. 35). 

bureau_creative 

Leading up to yesterday, mom had actually tried calling me to let me know that the cat was taken ill. I didn’t hear it because I was showering, or something. She emailed me the whole story about what was happening, CC’d my brothers. Then finally sent a picture of my cat on WhatsApp, and that’s when I noticed, texted her back and said; “Everything OK with her?”, “Actually, no. I emailed you…”, mom replied back. 

It was late, I opened my email by switching apps really quick. I chose to voice-message my boyfriend and attempt to hold back my tears there, instead of calling my mom back at this point. I knew that calling her would just lead to an extended sob. I had a “career day” to attend the next morning. If I could avoid puffy-eyes, I would. Mom and I then sent each other heart-emojis and our conversation came similar to what one would utter at a funeral for a good friend (these days when words still are able to co-exist with visual reactions in shape of emojis). And before I went to sleep I asked her to text me the next day, after it would be all over for my cat. I still haven’t talked to mom over the phone about this. The cat-funeral was supposedly late yesterday. Yet I know more than I ever knew from when my first cat passed, before I had ever owned smartphones, computers, or some robot dog; or whatever the kids get these days. My boyfriend sent me a couple reassuring voice-messages back from the New York subway on his way to an event. “Everything is going to be OK; you’re family is going to be OK, you are going to be OK…”, he kindly assured me, and to my relief I could go to sleep pretty efficiently despite all.

What we have these days is also “networked grieving”; in which funeral services now intersect with social media, and can help people express their grief online as well as plan it (Nansen et al., 2017).

Come to think of it, mom had said that she’d actually read online that the symptoms my cat had had signaled heart-failure, and I’d believed her. So had the veterinarian that later checked my cat before her passing (hopefully she used some techy-tool more than, like, Apple’s own Health app). But mom and I both put a lot of trust into Google. Perhaps more so me, because I’ve “known it” longer!? I’ve seen doctors Google symptoms when I was in a New York hospital with the flu once, so why shouldn’t the stuff on there be at least somewhat relevant!? My boyfriend also said he was going to a viewing the other week. I thought since he was searching to find a new apartment that he was going to an apartment viewing. I recorded him a chipper voice-message the next day; “Hey, hope your viewing went awesome, let me know!” He replied that he couldn’t go in the end but that he’d forwarded his condolences. Only then did I turn to Google and realize my mistake… this was a death-related viewing that we were talking about.

Friday, 31 March 2017:

“Lindqvist & Thorslund (2011, p. 18) discuss turning into the person you make out to be online as a risk, but what about making it a career?”

bureau_creative

I can’t promise you that the person who is writing this will be the same person in two years from now when I graduate from university, but do I even want to be? I like this inquisitive mind of mine, and I’m going to keep feeding it with social media, as social is going to be fed by me and what some people might call my “content” (a.k.a. my life?) right here and now, and continuously so.

Acting taught me to take things really personally on stage, and simultaneously be more thick-skinned for the business-side of the job and industry. I suppose that’s also how I see the internet. Maybe just that I’m splitting my personality over different channels, like one should invest in Index funds and things, according to Tom Robbin’s new book “Unshakeable” (Robbins, 2017), and not be investing all into one single bet for the future. Simultaneously, as with the stock market, I’m investing my personality, my time, or my money (as in studying for this line of profession or related), with the knowledge that what I perceive as being private or anonymous might be the complete opposite; and that there will be a “bear market”. Meaning, things will go south at some point – but I just choose to prepare for those times and come out alive, instead of hiding from it all and actually losing with a perception perhaps of being “safe” and steady when that’s not really the case. Robbins mentions in his book that being outside of the market is your biggest loss. Being out of the social media game creates the same loss in my opinion, we just may not have the same expert advice on it yet to say that it is indeed a game that needs to be played, and someone to pin-point the advantages for each and every individual.

That’s when a film director yells; “Take a risk, do something—anything—but make a strong choice and stand by it!” And that is at least what I intend to do continuing forward with social media—basically; say hello to my “new kitty”!

Ruth Sundell

References

Instagram Blog. (2017). Share Up to 10 Photos and Videos in One Post. [Online] Available: http://blog.instagram.com/post/157572774352/170222-multiple [2017-04-03].

Instagram Blog. (2015). Thinking Outside the Square: Support for Landscape and Portrait Formats on Instagram. [Online] Available: http://blog.instagram.com/post/127722429412/150827-portrait-and-landscape [2017-04-03].

Lindqvist, J. & Thorslund, E. (2011). Ungas integritet på nätet. 5th ed. [Online] Ödeshög: DanagårdsLiTHO, pp. 1-90. Available: https://www.iis.se/docs/Ungas_integritet_Ver2_webb.pdf [2017-04-04].

Nansen, B., Kohn, T., Arnold, M., van Ryn, L. and Gibbs, M. (2017). Social Media in the Funeral Industry: On the Digitization of Grief. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 61(1), pp.73-89.

Robbins, T. (2017). Unshakeable. 1st ed. London: Simon & Schuster UK Ltd.

Crime victim support staff needed

Hey, it’s been a while. Didn’t forget you! I’m finishing off a UX-design course right now, learning some cool things and am to spruce up this site a bit – make it into my online portfolio, with the blog as well. I soon have to get back to creating more wireframes in Balsamiq. And I booked a much longed-for trip to New York in the new year! Much excited about that!

I was reading an article on stuff to do if you’re alone on the holidays (or at least on xmas day). It seems the train tickets are a mess around this time of the year… expensive, and 4-5 changes instead of 1 (train to bus changes that are normally just train), and I have a class in coding over the holidays as well that I need to finish another portfolio for before I fly out.

So, one of the first thing on the list of to-dos that one could do when alone was to volunteer, the article let me know. I thought, hey that’s a great idea – I’ve volunteered before, it’s badass and good for people so why not, I can do that. However, I don’t believe in the “lord”, you know, more like; hard work, motivational strategies, whatever-works-for-yous-all, and the law of attraction!? So, it doesn’t really make sense to me to be participating in a church ceremony and serve food… the “advertisement” said nothing about homeless people, immigrants, or veterans, which may have convinced me more? If you’re in Sweden and want to check for volunteer events yourselves, here is a page I found that posts a lot of volunteer work, incl. what I just mentioned: Volontärbyrån  – you can search by city or anything like. I have volunteer worked at SPCA in Tel Aviv before, and I know for a fact that there is a kitty shelter on the upper east side in New York so definitely check that out. I believe ASPCA of NYC need their volunteers to come in pretty regularly as well (or perhaps just with dog walkers) but I’d encourage you to read up on it.  In Tel Aviv, I helped bring in a malnourished kitty that my friend had found alone and lost on the street – brought it across town in a cardboard box with holes via bus. If you had access to a car there you could help in more “advanced” rescue missions as well, maybe that goes for NYC, too, I’m not sure?

Well, also I did watch Before The Flood and I’ve had more vegetarian food of late. But when I have time I shall make American Pancakes… I did buy some eggs and milk the other day. Most of my food have been organic of late as well. Dunno, environment has been increasingly on my mind. But it’s caused me to think more now that I’m aware. For example, I thought I’d buy tofu ice cream and I leaned into the “ice cream” ice  box in the store to grab the one I’ve seen so many times when I was younger at kids’ parties where someone was lactose-intolerant… the TofuLine one like. Has an octagon shape, black color like UFC-inspired perhaps. Love the UFC, so it felt cool, right!? Well – PALM OIL. Dammit. What’s better now? Locally produced ice-cream, or who-knows-wherefrom-derived vegan/vegetarian brand incl. palm-oil?

To my point with this post however, I found something in my style in regards to volunteer work… only it wouldn’t do it for just the holidays, I’d have to commit for a longer time. But that may just be what I want to do for this next year… this ! (It’s a crime victim support service) You learn some stuff… call people, help ’em in court… I think it’s awesome. But there’s a lower limit to your monthly involvement. I think something like 6-8 hours, 3 cases (supports) like? Either way, I was in the military and studied some crime stuff and it struck me that there sure is a lack of bravery and lack of staff for these kinda professions. I mean bravery and knowledge about such as what you’re allowed to do when someone attacks you and tries to steal your laptop or something. Can you hit them back? For instance, I learned that if I saw someone do that to you (military or not) I could step in and help ya – with some force, too (matching the level of the criminal) – it’s called “Hjälparens rätt” in Sweden. *Helper’s rights* or something.

How many people knew that? Or what if someone starts a fight in a club or at a bar and goes ballistic, starting to punch on an innocent… it shouldn’t be so that people don’t dare to step in to stop it just because they don’t want to get involved in court later (perhaps they’d think they might be mixed up as being the perpetrator). That’s why I think crime victims should always have someone to talk to and teach them about their rights, and let them know how they may stand up for themselves – at least later on if they couldn’t do it earlier because either they didn’t know of their rights or they were simply outed by the criminal. A lot of people are needed for this I read. I’m considering it. Also because I think it would be a life-experience, and I like law – I noticed however that it takes many years of studying which is costly even in Sweden, and furthermore that it’s bound by country (since national laws differ from place to place)… if I had the money and was born in America I may have at least become a paralegal though. I saw a great award-winning short film last year that I found out about through the course I was taking in Digital Movie Making at the time. It was fantastic! You can read about it on IndieWire. The Phone Call.

Also here is a trailer for it:

Will you be a volunteer this holiday season? Or are you a regular volunteer at some place?

Let me know in the comments below, or tweet me!

Take care, and wherever you are, whoever with – happy holidays! 

-Bebe 

Imagination and Potential with Movement, Magic and Design

I had placed the banana cartons that I’m to pack my stuff in for my move on the veranda – BAD IDEA – with the first box I brought in I found a little spider, so I ran out and shook it off but it stayed dangling in spider-web. Had to cut the cord with my fingers shaped like a pair of scissors. But then I figured I should bring in a least another box to let it “dry up” from any dampness from the outdoors too, in preparation, and as I opened the lid on that yet another spider appeared! A long-legged one! But I shook it off with a shriek, “OOOH” because I had stayed outside this time. 

♧ ♥ ♡ ♢♤  ♧ ♥ ♡ ♢♤  ♧ ♥ ♡ ♢♤  ♧ ♥ ♡ ♢♤  ♧ ♥ ♡ ♢♤  ♧ ♥ ♡ ♢♤  ♧ ♥ ♡ ♢♤  ♧ ♥ ♧

Anyway, I figure I needed a little break from watching The Magicians after one episode. It reminded me of a lot of things. Like, how I used to want to be a magician as a kid… one of my first “goals” you might say. Yeah, this was way before Harry Potter. I sat alone in the dark hallway of the house while my parents were watching TV and I thought of ways to make a white dove appear out of nowhere. I went into their bedroom and got a red silk scarf with white stripes and I sat back onto the floor and tried moving the fabric up and down from the floor and around to make it appear and said a few magical-sounding lines, kinda like “Dove – Appear!!!” ha ha…

I’d found a dove made of silvery paper – I’d say less than an inch big – on my way home from school. Thinking back it kind of looked like a mark on credit cards. I got the keys to walk home by myself when I was pretty young. I also had a pretend-friend that I called “Nobody”. Sad!? Maybe. Maybe scary? Have you ever thought about those ghost-stories that are about what kids see? I mean who knows what really was there, at least the imagination runs wild when you’re a kid and that’s a good thing, you know. If you have good acting teachers, you’ll learn not to be afraid of the imagination itself later on. That it is OK to imagine. It’s for the sake of ART. I’ve experienced awesome things in college due to like body movement and training that would be so basic and yet intense – so very human – and the focus would get so utterly clear and the experiences half-way into it and after so very vivid… as with the Feldenkrais Method that we practiced, for example. It’s so wonderful. 

Anyway, listen to this whole thing and but specifically 12:53 minutes in:

The kid has brain damage, right, but as Feldenkrais says in the video, “By minimising the variability of his actions and make him capable of suddenly realizing that he can learn, he’ll find himself that his brain damage is minimized. He’s actually being able to learn in an hour more than an average child can learn in an hour.”

And it makes me think back to yesterday. I was driving this machine around at work and it made an awful sound. I knew it had been said to be bad, and that they’re going to replace it, but my dad (who’s very technical, smart and innovative) always tells me to react if something sounds wrong and check it out… basically, to try and solve it. Well, I figured, I tried different buttons, different speeds… and I found that the button I specifically needed for the machine to do its thing was the one that caused the sound. And I discovered that a fast pace did not help either. So I drove around for a few more minutes, thinking like alright, well this is my job and I had planned on doing this and few people are still working so they shouldn’t be too bothered if I do it quick and short. Well, then I drove over the bit farther away and got back, but pretty soon I spotted one guy working on the other side of the hall and I felt like I had to think of something else. Turns out… slowing down at a much slower pace did not cause the sounds at all, even with that button pressed… so, then I could finish the whole job and I did solve part of the problem by figuring out when the problem is Not a problem and by focusing on the little bits that worked.

I don’t know if you see the connection I’m seeing with Feldenkrais and this machine, magic, and more… but it’s basically a “trick” I’ve learned over the years, as in motivation – that if you can figure out what you DON’T WANT, then you can turn it around and make it about what you DO WANT… figure out what IT IS that YOU DO WANT by knowing what you don’t want and yeah, just flip it around. And now, I know magic is a lot about illusions such as you want to make someone focus on something else while you’re doing another thing. Magic is basically the ART of politics and the CIA, right… if you want to use it for that. Hopefully not, I mean I wish magic was used only for good stuff. Sometimes it gets a bit too alien for me. I’ve been watching Stranger Things on Netflix and then watched real videos from survivors of the MKUltra experiments on youtube. Scary stuff!

How about this badass marketing method of Hitchcock… or is it badass, or a little… PSYCHO? A quick google search gives you “Psychological Marketing”… but what is and what is even brainwashing or mind-control? Like, these are totally relevant subjects considering there are current talks about possible SPIES and insiders at Swedish authorities on the radio and it seems many experiments in history stem from a fear of the “commie”! And, speaking of fear, Psycho was a scary movie that used some wicked marketing tactics. Brilliant or crazy I don’t know, but it sure sold:

Moreover, I started watching, The Magicians… got me thinking about autumn, pumpkin latter and hot cider because the girl in the first episode wore the kind of flannel scarf that seems to be connected to all magical shows… you know, Harry Potter like. BTW, the first “thick” book I finished was Harry Potter. Why? Because I liked the subject of magic but I specifically remember the black and silver pages with stars after each chapter. You remember those? Every time I got to those I’d put down the book and go to sleep… or I’d be inspired to read another chapter to reach the next starry page, or read on half-way and think… ah, at least soon I’ll be at another page with those stars… like that saying, uh, “Don’t put off until tomorrow, what you can do today.” Or, I’d feel like I got a step closer to my “goal”, you know!? That was a great design. Really left a mark on me… got me excited about reading more. A great, simple design. Think about it… one picture on a page like. A film is just a bunch of pictures or frames at high-speed… I was so annoyed when I heard somebody say on a ghost-story podcast recently that “Film doesn’t blink.” Well, of course it does. It blinks like a billion times or whatever, mate! Otherwise it’d just be a still picture and not a movie. A quick google picture search on Harry Potter + star pages showed me that people got these as tattoos… so I guess I’m not the only one that they meant something to. I don’t love the books but I did like this design for the purpose.

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Also, it got me thinking about some 2 years ago like, when I had applied for a US green card lottery for… well, not the first time. And my friend, old class-mate, who’s now working as an actor, even got his name in The LA Times for his acting… well, he told me about Chaos Magic and Sigil Magic. So for a while I looked that up and a bunch of other magic-related content on youtube. And I created an inspiration board or whatever, just for myself, on Pinterest – with all those videos. I think I’ve seen two magicians in my childhood. One which really surprised me, and another that was more of a showman. I don’t know, I didn’t win, you know, but I find it fun to think about. Did you see Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell? Another magic show I started watching with my brother before… some year back I’d say.

This one (below) is pretty cool, you know a documentary. I didn’t know how much magic went on by… Coney Island, was it!? It was a while ago since I watched this, I gotta watch it again – it was saved on that board I created. I mean, I’ve been to Coney Island and I can absolutely imagine it being a thing there… I shot a bit of film on my Ipad there for class before. Feels like a magical place from the moment you get off the subway and feel the sea breeze… You know, perhaps we just like these magic shows because they remind us of being kids again as we had a better imagination then – like it’s some kinda longing within us? Or maybe I’m speaking for myself. I love acting and it’s a lot about the imagination – and I haven’t been able to keep it up so much as of late so maybe it’s just my own craving. But either way, perhaps somebody feels the same… 😉

Oh well, have a magical day! 😉 I need to keep on packing etc. Hopefully no spiders! What are your experiences with magic and the rest of it? 

The Brave Blonde